'In an ever changing world of gender, who knows what I'm going to end up being. But in the end, I want to morph into something I'm comfortable with.

Sunday, October 13, 2002  

still need to puke.. dunno what the cow is wrong with me... i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her i miss her.... nononononononnonno.. i can't.. i've got to move on.. i can't miss her i can't miss her.. don't think off her.. help.. am going bonkers... am gonna start pouring.. can't control my emotions...

muttered @ 7:42 AM.

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ugh/ i need to puke............... there's a whole lot of shit stuck in my oesophagus all the way to my throat.. oh whatever.. i'm writing shit.. help.. i feel so terrible.. i miss her so much.. but i really gotta move on.. whats the use of holding on.. i'll never get her back... thats forsure.. she's scared of me.. damn am i really that scary? oh.. wtf... what did i do wrong? why does she think i'm gonna kill her or something.. i wouldn't do such a thing.. i love her.. but maybe i might just kill that new guy of hers. hurhur.. -evil grin- oh my.. what am i thinking.. feel so evil.. i should be happy for her.. she's happy, i'm happy.. help.. am so contradicting....

muttered @ 1:05 AM.

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