'In an ever changing world of gender, who knows what I'm going to end up being. But in the end, I want to morph into something I'm comfortable with.
Monday, October 14, 2002
help... just ate this wierd bubble gum of michelle's.. ewww.. was totally gross.. it practically melted in my mouth.... yuck... yuc yuck yuck... so wierd.. i thought gum wasn't suppose to melt in your mouth... they're supposed to be chew and chewed and chewed.. and the u spit it out when you feel like theyr'e starting to taste like shit... m&m's are the ones that melts in your mouth rite? ohh my.. think the gum was expired or something... phew.. luckily i puked it out.. the taste is still in my mouth... bleah.. - sticks out tongue-
muttered @
11:55 PM.
just had lunch at fc6.. never been there before.. food sucked.. ewww... having that damn puking feeling again.. help... stomach feels wierd too... ugh.... bleah.. am making such wierd noises...
had presentation just now.. managed to get 74 out of 100.. cool ha... -rolls eyes-
argh.. i still miss her..miss her miss her... i miss you like crazy.. oh my.. am singing some nsync song.. wtf...
muttered @
10:51 PM.
"Her love for him was so strong. It was unconditional, once she got over her denail. I think it was the first time she was in love, and it didn't matter to her whether she was a boy or girl."
-Chloe Sevigny, on Brandon Teena
Hmm.. found this so sweet.. =)
muttered @
7:41 PM.
hur.. am in school again... sucks.. sucks big time.. just got scolded by the damn archi lecturer for not wearing the damn lanyard.. poor weining had to go back o class to get her shoes cos she was wearing slippers... ha.. oh my.. am laughing. i am so mean.. what the hell..
oh no.. having the presentation later.. still not sure of what i have to say.. am gonna fail for sure... bloody fuck..
darn.. now michelle has to go back to class.. its that idiot lecturer again... sigh.. whats wrong with her.. has she no brains or something?
muttered @
7:24 PM.
phew.. finally did that damn powerpoint thingie... am so shagged... shall go take a break now.. sigh..
i'm still thinking of her.. can't stop.. what should i do???
muttered @
8:09 AM.
oh man.. am finally home....
sigh.. still miss her so much.. and she doesn't give a fuck shit.. i called her on the way home just now.. she picked up the phone but said she was sleeping.. sigh... so freaking disappointed. but what the heck.. at least i heard her voice.. its better than nothing..
darn. have got a presentation tmr.. was supposed to do it last week but i didn't have the mood to do it last week.. told the damn lecturer that i was sick.. shit.. haven't even prepared for it.. feeling so lazy..
muttered @
6:53 AM.
darn.. am still stuck in the bloody skool... am freezing in the room.. can't type properly.. fingers are numb.. bet they're gonna drop off soon... its like minus dunno what the cow degrees here... brrrrrr.... still feeling sickish.. and there's this real irritating sound coming out of weining's com.. its screwed up...
muttered @
5:24 AM.
hmph.. weining just read my blogs and she started laughing like crazy.. and she promised me that she wouldn't laugh... damn it.. whats so funny.. argh!
muttered @
4:28 AM.
am in skool now.. damn.. its 7 in the evening.. still feel as shitty as ever.. but its not the pukish feeling.. my eyes are killing me.. they're all swollen and gross from all that crying.. argh.. why can't i just be stronger??? i am such a crybaby.. stop crying u idiot.. whats the use.. crying will never bring her back.. she doesn't want u anymore.. stop.. stop.. STOP crying.. get on with life.. they're many ppl out there thats a trillion times better than her... darn.. im talking to myself.. am such a wierdo... am a freak.. oh whatever.. who gives a fuck right? sigh...
had such a sucky day in skool.. was boring like fuck.. and the lecturers had to ask me what was wrong with me.. and as usual.. being the ever vunerable me.. i started crying straightaway... must haf gave them a bloody shock... feel so stupid... why am i crying so much for....????
its been a week since we broke up.. i still can't accept it.. why did she have to do this??? why why why? its also suppose to be our 8th month todae..... help.. i am so freaking miserable... had been planning this thing for her for a month or so.. it was already done halfway.. but she had to break with me.... sigh...
muttered @
4:15 AM.
