'In an ever changing world of gender, who knows what I'm going to end up being. But in the end, I want to morph into something I'm comfortable with.
Wednesday, November 13, 2002
just got up... eyes are as swollen as a goldfish.
cried to sleep last nite.
wtf.
argh.. i so hate my life.
me and phyllis were msging to and fro.
i told her to be with tim.
Reply from Phyllis --->
u don't understand tim well. He's an asshole. there are lots of things he did but u don't know. I told his friends and they asked me not to be softhearted cos they all know him to well.
Reply to Phyllis --->
Perhaps I don't know him well, perhaps i was wrong about him. But i don't trust Jason either. niwae.. its your choice. live it the way u want it to. choose wads best for u. remember, choose wad u think will make u happy.
Reply from Phyllis --->
Thanks.. I know you care. U too, be with someone u really love, don't lead her on or treat her as a spare.
Reply to Phyllis --->
its not easy to be someone u really love. u might be with the person u love, but he/she might not love u as much.
sigh.. i don't know... -shrugs-
muttered @
9:08 PM.
Msg from Phyllis --->
eh i have something to tell u.. i'm sorry. we can only be friends! i'm straight.. ya i still like tim but its over and i wont accept him.
then i replied back by asking why she msged something like that.
Reply from Phyllis --->
Then u msg me you dream about me for what? telling you this so that u can totally forget about me. I feel bad thats why i don't wish to lead you on.
sigh... so its my fault.. shouldnt haf been so itchy fingers.. shouldn't haf msged her that i dreamt that she and tim were tgt.. fine.. its all my fucking fault. i didn't even ask for a patch.. i didn't say i still liked her.. i just merely said i dreamt of her...! wth... dunno lah.. my mind is in a mess... its fucking messed up.. she's making my life topsy turvy.. i'm at my lowest... eeps
*iaminabloodymess* amfrustrated*ihatemylife*
muttered @
6:42 AM.
[...c o ntra di cti o n...]
Icanhearyourvoicestillcallingoutmyname
It'snowyoursymptomuponthepillownexttome
ImaginingyourkisseswhenIclosemyeyes
Theydon'treplaceyouholdingme
I'mnotsayingthatIcan'tjustlivewithoutyou
ButI'mfinesomuchbetterwhenyou'rehere
Youturnmydarknesstolight
Andyoumakeeverythingallrightbymyside
IamsoinloveIamsoinhate
Ijustcan'tcomprehendit,
YougetmesohighYougetmesolow
Ican'tshowwhatI'mfeelin'
Triedlikehellbutyoudidn'tgiveashit
Yousteppedonmyfeelings
It'suselesstotryandworkthingsout
Don'tneedallthisstress
You'renotworthit
I'mtiredofalltheupsanddowns
muttered @
6:14 AM.
----------
nAtaSHaZ> y all breaking up same time..
nAtaSHaZ> wanna know y sher?
`55cc> shit always happens ard this time
`55cc> every year
nAtaSHaZ> u wanna know y?
nAtaSHaZ> coz its the season..
nAtaSHaZ> thiz time..all the pple whu cannot make it breaks up..
nAtaSHaZ> the one whu stays..are meant to be..
----------
perhaps its true... -shrugs-
muttered @
6:01 AM.
What kind of person are you? brought to you by Quizilla
muttered @
5:38 AM.
Which finger are you?Take the quiz to find out.
Ooo! The potty mouth, callous, rude with a tendency to swear quite a lot...hmm...though your intentions may be good, the results aren't always what you thought they would be... you also tend to be a tad immature.
oh whatever... -gives the middles finger-
muttered @
1:41 AM.
hmm...bored.
got the clock thingie back finally.. archives too.. phew...
sigh.. feeling pretty low now.. dunno why.. mood swings?! probably... -shrugs- feeling so alone.. miss the feeling of having someone there for me.. someone to spend time with all the time... -sulks- gtg find a new girlfriend.. yoohoo... anyone? -frowns- hurhur.. whats with the expressions? sigh.. whatever...
muttered @
1:38 AM.
